Kyle’s Journey in Armenia

I guess it’s true – six months ago I was on leaving on a jet plane (finish the lyrics if you must) from JKF, leaving behind all the (in)conveniences of home. Now is as good of time as any to reflect on my time here in Armenia, what I’m missing the most, and what I’m going to do with the months I have left. here goes nothing…

The Good

Armenia is easily one of the most beautiful places I’ve lived, with some of the nicest and most hospitable people I could hope to meet, bar none. The country -side is bustling with more old churches and monestaries one could ever want to visit (although some, like the Stonehenge, should be at the bottom of that list). I’m extremely jealous of the sheep herders who spend all day out in the fields, soaking in our clean mountain air. And when they go home, it’s to delicious fresh-out-the-garden fruits and vegetables, delicious bar-b-que, and delicious homemade wine.

Personally, I think I’ve grown a lot in the past six months. I speak pretty decent Armenian, and I can actually hold a conversation beyond talking about my family. I’ve run into and overcome numerous cultural barriers, from getting peer-pressured by Grandpa to drink to getting excited about the water coming (and even more excited when I can boil that water in a bucket and bathe with it!). I’ve started good, genuine projects that will really make a difference to people in my community. On all levels I think I’m casting myself as a good example of an American, and am sharing a lot about our language, our culture and even our disdain for President Bush. Also, this is probably the most books (and unfortunately Newsweeks) I’ve read and movies I’ve watched in my life. I’m learning new things, including drawing and Armenian dancing. To sum it up, the freedom and intraspectivity this experience has already provided has been magnificent. And plenty more time for that in the upcoming dead of winter. I also feel extremely safe here (Grandma) and know that I have an entire community at my back. I have a good NGO, good friends, good sitemates, and am doing my best to hold on to a positive attitude.

The Bad

I’ll be honest – I miss home. While it’s only two years, being away for this long makes you realize the little things you are without. Reading a summary of my brother’s basketball games isn’t the same as being there to cheer, and God knows when I’ll eat a good Mexican burrito again. I’m constantly cold, and I’m losing weight and I’ve been sick a lot. The potato and soup regiment in the latter half of the month doesn’t do it for me sometimes. There’s no showering, there’s no maple syrup, and there’s no baseball. Of the 50 volunteers that left NYC with me, only 39 remain in Armenia.

On a larger level, I’m somewhat worried about how much of a difference me being here is going to make. This country is very polarized economically, both in terms of the rich and poor and Yerevan and the villages. Where I’m at, people make enough money to feed their families and little else. They’ve been treated to emerging conveniences, and then had it taken away from them just as quickly. People here have cell phones, televisions, cars, Spanish soap operas and nice clothes. But now there is no money, and it’s all falling apart. People here, in general, are depressed, which is very hard to live with on a day-to-day basis. No one trusts the government (and rightfully so, because it’s betrayed them so many times) or each other, and people don’t want to open businesses because they are scared to lose everything again. 80% of the borders are closed, and there are few natural resources to support the people, so they are at the whim of external markets. The military situation is standoffish and volatile, and we may be surrounded by war on 4 fronts by the time I leave. People want to leave my town for the spoils of Yerevan, and it makes me sad every time they do. And to be honest, I’m somewhat dumbfounded about how to make it all ok this time.

And the Future…

But there’s hope yet! Every cloud has it’s silver lining, and I’m confident things will end on the up-and-up. As I learn more and more about Armenia and its people, I am able to understand what they want and need and how I fit into that whole puzzle. I have some great ideas. Some will work, some will fail miserably. But there are a lot of great Peace Corps volunteers in this country, and we are doing a lot of great work. Armenia will be better off when we leave, too. What really keeps me optimistic is the attitude of the young people. They grew up without Communism, and so aren’t stuck still trying to live under it. Many of them studied through school by candlelight and wood-burning stoves during the bad times, and they want better for themselves and their country. They will ultimately be our future, and I am doing my best to help in whatever way, from English to computers to just being a good friend. And I’m going to see the world and meet some great people in the process. I hope it will help me figure out what I want to do with my life, and help me to understand people and cultures, both American and otherwise, better wherever I go. I will have learned a new language or two, read hundreds of books, and changed a life here or there.

I’m happy I committed to the Peace Corps, and I will be here for two years, despite all the wonderful people1 and good life I left behind. For all the depressing things and loneliness that comes every day, there is always something positive and something I’ve learned to counteract it. While 25% of this experience may already be behind me, my glass of homemade wine is definitely still 75% full. Cheers!

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