Happy Friday the 13th! It’s been a busy past few weeks, with a hodgepodge of random things turning up nearly every day. The first, and probably most notable, is that I have a new roomate! This isn’t just any old roomate – it’s a 61 year old Canadian, who’s name is Alta Alta (yes, the same). He is here for three weeks and is working with my NGO on our big wireless internet project we hope to be launching soon. Theoretically, this will bring internet access to Noyemberian and two surrounding villages, serving over 12,000 people! While initially I thought it would be silly to have WiFi when there is no running water, I’ve come to realize maybe this place needs a kick into the 21st century. Anyway, he’s a very smart man, and the new system should be installed within a few months. I’m pretty excited myself…
Anyone can have a roomate, but what happened Wednesday morning defies even my imagination. I woke up around 9 to my host Mom calling me in to talk. Normally, it takes me about 30 minutes to wake up, so when she spouts off a lot of quick Armenian, including the words “you have to move!” and “the Russians are coming!”, I was naturally confused and wondered if North Korea started a second Cold War. To provide some quick background, I’m essentially squatting in an apartment, which my host mom is taking care of for a Russian family who moved out 10 years ago, but left their belongings behind. Appearently, they got wind that TWO people were living in their apartment, and called my host Mom, who freaked out way too early in the morning. Whoops – who knew squatting could get you into trouble? So anyway, we’re hoping they don’t show up and kick Alta and I out. I’m affectionately calling this situation the “Red Scare”.
When I’m not questioning where I will live, I’m staying busy around town. My clubs are unfolding nicely, and Thursday night I held the first “English Speaking Club” for people who want to practice their English. It was a good time and we had 13 people come, despite a heavy downpour. One of my favorite participants was my friend Armen, who is a 50 year old taxi driver, former engineer in Soviet times and has built himself three houses. He also learned English driving around listening to 1980s cassette tapes, talking to other volunteers, and reading an English dictionary for fun. This combination of teaching methods has elicited wonderful phrases such as “what a rip off”, “f*#$ing bad day”, and “I wouldn’t kick her out of my bed”.
- We started the club off with introductions, to which Armen noted “I am a spaceman from another planet, and I drive a taxi”
- Someone raised the question of good jokes in English, to which Armen offered a series of taxi driver jokes, including one about how women drivers are the same as “drunk soldiers on motorcycles” and the other about a naked female passenger. The 10 female/3 male crowd was moderately amused.
- Another winning joke of the night came from Alex’s host Mom:
A wife decides one day she wants to be the head of the household. She tells her husband this, and he knocks her unconcious. Their neighbor comes over and sees the wife lying on the floor, and asks “Why is she laying on the floor?” The husband responds, “She’s the head of the household, she can do whatever she wants.”
- In a non-club related incident, probably the funniest experience I’ve had in Armenia, came the other day when I told this Armenian women her fan on her computer was not working and she’d have to buy a new one. She insisted it was only dirty, and when I said that wasn’t why, she sprints out the door without saying a word. Completely confused, I continue my work, and she comes sprinting back in with a hair-dryer, plugs it in and starts spraying the insides of this computer. I was awestruck for about 5 minutes.
So, that’s a hint at the randomness of Armenia for you. Of course, there’s real work, too, but I’ll let you know when a project gets done. But if you don’t hear from me for a while, I may be “vacationing” in some Russians’ trunk. I just hope they have good WiFi there.
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